Baby Bean....

As stated before.... Updates about Baby Bean do not come easy....

It is hard to know how to write and what to write.

Sometimes.... just because things or feelings go through our minds....

doesn't necessary mean we need to share it with the whole world........

I do think that there are many of blogs that have been able to very tastefully explain the situation they are in along with all the feelings...

However, I was worried we would not know where to drawl that line.... so we have kept the blog very NON-personal about baby bean.

But at this time... I would like to explain a little on the personal side of what we have been going through.....

I am not a writer... so I hope this will all come out correctly.

I will try to break this down... since that is how my mind works..

1. We have been praying for God's will to be done with Baby Bean...... Do we believe in miracles.... Absolutely .... however...we have prepared for the worse and hoped for the best.... really trusting that God is in control.  We pray that things will be CRYSTAL clear.... in all the decisions making that may need to be done with Baby Bean.

2. People will say or ask.... how we can look so happy or stay so positive......  we have had many of TEARS, doubts and fears.... But God's love is so much stronger.... and really for me....the same reason why I try to smile every day and be happy is because.... we never know when it will be our last.... 

Let us labor for the Master from the dawn till setting sun,

Let us talk of all His wondrous love and care;

Then when all of life is over, and our work on earth is done,

And the roll is called up yonder, I WANT TO be there.

3. So we are Perfect and this is easy... NO...  we fail every day!  But this pregnancy has helped us to develop a stronger relationship with God and to really yearn for a stronger relationship with Him.  Because we are human.... and we do fail every day.  But THANKFULLY by God's loving mercy and grace... we strive for the peace from above. 

4. I and people have always said... God only give us what we can handle.  But through this experience... I truly believe God gives us more than we can handle.  If He gave us what we can handle.... would we really need Him??  Would we yearn to spend time with Him?  We see hope and light through this trial... but we would never say.... that we were able to do this on our own.  Without God we would never even be close to seeing Hope.  We come back for more of His word and love everyday... because we can not do it on our own.... and it feels like as soon as we feel like we have the situation all under control..... we are right back to pleading for His mercy... because we have failed and we NEED HIM.  

5.  We are hard on ourselves.   As Christians.... we know what peace is.  We know we will be tried and we are to overcome by God's grace.  When we fail... we feel as if we have failed our Father.  This is a good thing and a bad thing.   Good - because it keeps us striving for Him....  Bad - because we have to allow our selves to grieve because it is painful situation. 

TWO things that have really helped us to TRUST GOD...

A. 2 Corinthians 12:9&10 - 
9: He (Jesus) said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10: Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong..

B. God choose us.  We make many decisions every day in our lives.  But this is one thing God choose us for.  It is very humbling... but at the same time.... it gives us reason to PRAISE, Hope, Believe, Trust, Understand and Love our Heavenly Father.  

We want to Praise Him in the Storm.... even though it is hard...

We want to Carry Baby Bean... even though it is hard....

We want to See Jesus.... even though the road may not be easy....

What is the overall.... 

People all around us have pain and trials...

It is not easy.... we do fail....

but - we have much HOPE for everlasting PEACE 

from our Father above....

There are still many souls around us... 

who have not given there life to Christ...

and with that.... they really are in more pain and trials..

then we can even imagine......

Thanks to every one who have prayed on our behalf... 

We can feel them and appreciate them...

The Gardner's